What is to be free? Is it possible to be free?
I thought it was lying in a hammock by the sea and reading a book or maybe writing a book of my own.
Don’t have things on to do list or must do …
So I tested this. Literally. 2009 I restart. Move to paradise Thailand and walked every day on the beach for hours. Ate my dinner while the sun disappeared into the sea. Went home and felt the warm breeze blow through my hair. Days went by and I had nothing to do, nothing I needed to do. Someone said it takes two years. Two years, then it no longer works.
Month in and month out I went to the beach and ate my dinner with the sun extinguishing the sky. My focus was on finding what I really wanted to do. I thought a lot of things I wanted to do. But they were not true in my reality, which I really wanted to create. There were lots of air castles to be destroyed.
Two years went by and only then did I begin to imagine what I wanted. Two years to really unwind from everything. Today I can feel stress if I must fit in a time, in 2-3 months. I want my free flow of time and preferably nothing should interfere. I have people around me who help get things just floating around, but the system took time to create. Time to even know what I would do for the rest of my life.
In fact, I have never met any person who has taken time off from his life to find his life, for 3 years!
Some weeks, a month here or there, many people have taken the time to find themselves, but not 3 years full-time without anything intruding. It took almost 5 years before I started doing what I really wanted to do.
But has this made me free?
In many ways YES, but many things cannot be affected at all. Things that renew passports and annual stamps at the Immigration Office. Things like not being drawn into complicated relationships with other people.
As soon as I want to create something that is outside my comfort zone, I end up in complicated relationships with other people. This is because I have not learned how to do and have not created this free-flowing uncomplicated system yet. The gears do not fit properly in the gearbox. The car chops and needs to be adjusted before everything works painlessly.
So I talk to people who will help me with the new, but I do not know the words yet and have to guess as well. I must search for the perfect and people say come back when you know. Patience is not humanity’s best developed tool, yet.
So today’s wonder to you is:
How does your life’s gearbox work?