Your automatic habits
Your observations are important!
In Part 1, I suggested that you start a survey of your automatic habits. A survey is a very important step, so continue with it for a while.
It helps you find out where you are. Why you are where you are in life you may have no idea and it is not essential. The important thing is where you are now, only then can you take steps in a different direction, make a different plan and start making changes to the life you would rather live and perhaps to a more magical life.
This chapter contains:
Practice continues: Write down your automatic habits.
What do you want instead of your automatic habits? Written goals increase your chance of reaching them.
Instead of hitting the lamp buttons what did Christine want?
Fall in love with your goals! Feel the passion and dare to follow it. If you don’t get energy thinking about them, you might need to search some more.
1:1 Lifecoach, author
Exercise: Write down your observations.
A self-assessment is a very important step, so keep it up for a while. It helps you find out where you are. Why you are where you are in life, you may have no idea why and that is not essential. The important thing is where you are now, only then can you take steps in a different direction, make a different plan and start making changes to the life you would rather live and maybe even create, a more magical life.
When I worked in a behavioral research project for 10 years, I realized the importance of observing their reactions in everyday life. With advanced equipment, I measured people's reactions when exposed to different types of stress. Our biofeedback program then helped them change many automatic habits.
Here is the continuation of the exercise in part 1.
Studies show that those who take the time to write down their goals and desires achieve these goals to a much greater extent. That is why I often give my clients the task of writing lists.
The observations you have made may be good or less good to discover about yourself. Now write a list of the observations you have made. There can be both negative and positive habits. Things you just do!
For example, you can enjoy inviting friends to at good dinner and make extra efforts to cook something you know they appreciate. Do not evaluate good or bad. Just write it down.
An automatic habit that might be considered a less good habit may be to start surfing with your cell phone as soon as you wake up. Don't evaluate. Just write it down.
Examples of often occurring automatic habits:
Postpone physical exercising. The person wants to exercise but find excuses all the time.
Prioritize others first. For example, always cooking tasty food when guests come, but not cooking tasty food when you eat alone after work.
Accept a boring life and live on a sad routine. The first thought of the day is: - Oh no, another meaningless day. Everything during the day runs automatically from when I wake up to when I fall asleep. (-Horrible insight, said the client.)
Quite a lot of clients say that they have noticed that the first thing they do in the morning is look at their mobile and start surfing. They check emails, social media, etc.
Some clients notice that they have an automatic habit: getting upset and noticing the errors in their partner / people they often meet. They want the other to change.
Exercise: Write down how you want your life to be.
Good, when the list of your observations of things you do automatically is complete, it's time to transfer those you want to change to a new paper, or another document in your computer. You should be able to see both lists at the same time.
It could be:
Something "negative" you want to change to a desired state
Something that is already good that you want to improve.
So, your task will be to concretely, and only positively describe and write down how you want it. Don’t change anything yet!.
Thought exercise, from my book fist book "Life Reset", before you continue reading. Stop, breathe and feel what is your first spontaneous response?
-If you could wave a magic wand, what is the one thing that you would change in your life?
The importance of writing down goals
A study at Harvard university showed that the students who wrote down their life goals on a paper before graduating, 20 years later, had achieved their goals to a much higher degree than those who only thought about the goals. They felt better, had better relationships and made much more money.
How the clients, rather, want it:
Those who were just thinking of going to the gym or exercising wrote that they were taking themselves seriously and would start exercising.
Those who felt the days went by routine and automaticity wrote: I want to wake up with enthusiasm, feel more meaning and have a more fun life. I want to get new more challenging tasks.
Those who surfed on the phone too much in the morning wrote that they want to find something that started the day in a more positive way, and better separate private time and work and to give people around them undivided attention.
Those who became annoyed at their partners / people close to them set the goal of staying calm no matter what the partner / the other did. They did not want to be drawn into an upset emotional state, but instead to be balanced and act constructively.
SAVE THESE LISTS!
The exercises continue in the chapter.
- It was harder than I thought to change from what life is like now to in detail describe how I want it to be. To my sadness and surprise, I realized that the roadblocks were in my mind. And to my delight, I realize that I was the one that could change things.
Entrepreneur with a passion
My own example, with me working all the time
In my own example, where I realized that I was only reading business and books in personal development, I wrote that I wanted to find other habits where my brain was not at work all the time.
The client story continues:
Christine and her desired state
What happened to Christine? In the last email (# 2) I told you that she was given the task of observing her automatic habits. She then discovered that she was very annoyed at her daughter every day when she came home, because the lights were on in every room.
Christine wrote on her list that she wanted a change, concerning the daily irritation that was created in her. She didn't want to feel it anymore. The anger made her hit the buttons and she was angry for hours and it ruined her wellbeing. She also got less done on her free time.
On the list of desired changes, she wrote that she wanted to keep her calm and not get upset. She wanted to be more constructive with her daughter. She took full responsibility for her habits and only wrote down what she could change. Not what the daughter should change.
Next steps for me and Christine continues in the next chapter.
“I have seen magic happen in my clients' lives just by realizing the automatic habits and transferring them to the desired state. Life becomes like a new adventure."
Start an adventure with a magic envelope
One way to start an adventure is to put a copy of what you have written and put that copy of what you would rather have in an envelope. Close it and leave it for 6-12 months.
When people later open the envelope, they often laugh, noticing that most of the list has become a reality. Without having done anything about it. It is as if things have been manifested by themselves.
In the next part 3, you will continue to use these lists. You will learn how to proceed practically. And as I said before. These exercises are not in my book "Life Reset: 5 Practical Steps." that you have downloaded.
Content in part 3:
Learn about “The One Percent” that initiates a process of change
Christine's “One Percent” that changed an entire corporate group.
Find your own “One Percent” that might initiate your chain of changes.
If you have any questions, just send them to me via this email: Reply to.
Take yourself seriously and write down your desired goals.
Life coach, Author, Motivational speaker, Artist and Music creator